we’re on a mission
SUMMARY: A mission is defined as an important task or a job that is accompanied by a strong sense of conviction; a pre-established objective or purpose. It implies a sense of being entrusted with something very important. In marriage we have embarked on a mission whether we’re aware of it or not. We have a pre-established objective and should have a strong sense of conviction about it. Read on to find out how you can focus on your marriage mission….
* * * * * * *
Mission Impossible was a popular TV show in the late 1960s and early 1970s. Jim Phelps, the protagonist of the show, led a team of spies working for the government. Each episode, Jim was offered a difficult, seemingly impossible mission via a tape recording that self-destructed after he listened to it. Every mission included the words “Your mission, Jim, if you choose to accept it…” The TV program spawned a successful Mission Impossible movie franchise in more recent years.
In marriage, we’re kind of on a mission as well. We approach the altar or face a justice of the peace on our wedding day and signal to the world that we accept the mission and are willing to see it through. And, on that day, we truly intend to spend our lives together.
Unfortunately a couple may lose sight of the mission they’re on as life gets in the way of the vision they had of marriage when they said their “I do’s”. Jobs demand our time; children arrive, taking all the effort, time and patience we can muster. Bills pile up, the car breaks down and the washer spews soapy water all over the basement floor. In other words, life happens.
In the midst of all of this, we often lash out at the one closest to us, our spouse, and project all of our frustration, anger, and disappointment on them. We may think that the one we married is the source of these negative emotions and we begin to think things like:
“If only he weren't like that.”
“If only she would be more like this.”
“Why does he do that? “
“Why won’t she do this?”
The truth is, though, that no marriage is happy, successful and easy all the time. Every couple struggles with some things at some time but how we handle those struggles is what’s most important.
Every couple, either consciously or unconsciously, embarks on some sort of mission when they get married. So let us ask you a question: When you married your spouse, what was your “mission”? Interesting question and maybe you’ve never considered it before.
Answers to this question may vary; you might say “Our mission was to make each other happy.” Or maybe “Our mission was to spend our entire lives together.” Whatever your answer, it could be that somewhere along the line, you’ve lost sight of the original mission as everyday life moved in, taking over your priorities and your focus.
When we teach marriage seminars, and often when we coach couples, we encourage them to create a Marriage Mission Statement, simply a written declaration of the core purpose and focus of your marriage. It’s a way to verbalize, and keep focussed on, the heart of what your marriage is all about when life’s ups and downs intrude and shift your focus.
So think about these questions and consider whether a marriage mission statement might be helpful in refocusing your relationship and helping you get back to the core of why you got married in the first place and how you want to proceed together for the rest of your lives:
What do you want your marriage to be known for?
What do you hope others will see in your marriage?
What do you strive together to do or to be?
Here’s our Marriage Mission Statement:
We want our marriage to be known for
faithfulness to God, to each other and to family.
We hope others see our marriage as
a strong bond by which we live out
“in sickness and in health, till death do us part”.
We strive together to invest in other couples
by helping them establish,
maintain and restore strong, healthy marriages
and families rooted in God.
Begin to refocus your relationship to align with the mission you accepted on that day you said, “I do”.
For more information about pre-marital preparation and marriage coaching, click HERE.